Neither here nor there

neither here nor there

Before you say it, it’s not plagiarism; it’s an homage to Bill Bryson. Travel literature aficionados like me will get the reference (he published his European adventures under the same title in 1991). Personally, the last time I visited another European country it was 2010, it was Menorca, there was a one year old in tow and I barely saw outside the walls of the Thomson Holiday hotel enclosure. We went with an open mind about travelling with a small child but the tone of the holiday was quickly set when I found myself changing a diarrhoea filled nappy in the confines of an aeroplane toilet.

That wasn’t my understanding of the Mile High club.

To be honest, that kind of holiday (minus the diarrhoea) was about all I could have handled at that point in time within the confines of a limited budget. But holidays and travel are important to me.

I was not confident or secure enough in myself as a youth to do the whole world travel thing. My sister did it in her 20s but to be honest the thought never occurred to me at that time. If I had the chance now (in my 40s) I would do it, but I have a six and three year old to consider.

I recently spotted a picture on Facebook of my friend Louise from A Strong Coffee at a food blogger event and I briefly considered jacking in all this tenuous niche-averse maundering in favour of something more ‘real’ as images of the flavoursome delights on offer to all those flashing the Foodies100 badge were briefly conjured in my mind’s eye. Louise, on the other hand, said she’d quite fancy being a travel blogger thereby considerably upping the ante.

The fact is it’s always been a fanciful dream of mine to become the British version of Bill Bryson (minus the beard). To drift from one country to the next making hilarious observations about bizarre national customs and how easy it is to mistake a box of tampons for a ready meal in Kazakhstan (probably) is essentially my ideal job.

Unfortunately I feel the possibility of Brexit becoming a reality may make even the shortest of hauls a costly exercise if the news reports I’ve been reading lately are anything to go by.

In my current opinion, Britain leaving the EU would be a bit like Iowa pulling out of the US – yes they could control who might benefit from all the corn and start up their own army, but really, who would care? Just imagine the hassle if all the Iowans had to consider applying for a visa every time they wanted to pop next door to Illinois?

This is, of course, a silly example and I know that US states are very different from EU member states and there is obviously a lot more to consider with regards to the EU and our place in it, but I can’t help feeling that pulling out is a step backwards fuelled by a generalised knee jerk suspicion of ‘Johnny Foreigner’.

From a traveller’s point of view it is in no way appealing.

But who am I to call myself a traveller? Can you call yourself a traveller if you never get the chance to travel? I don’t even own an armchair.

I like to think it is more of a state of mind – I’ll also go around calling myself a ‘writer’ – I can string a sentence together and I have also been known to ride the Number 1 bus all the way from Farnborough to Camberley (not my idea) so yes, I do also, on occasion, ‘travel’.

Maybe I just need a holiday.

8 thoughts on “Neither here nor there

  1. I’m definitely not a traveller, not even been abroad, no not EVER! I have been to Ireland though, does that count? I’m planning a cruise when my savings plan matures, just five more years to go! I can’t imagine a nappy blowout on a plane, I’ve done one on a train, In fact it wasn’t a nappy it was my six year old and I had to go through my suitcase on a packed train to get her a clean outfit and then think of what to do with the dirty clothing! As for Britain leaving the EU, it’s a daft idea for sure.
    Anne recently posted…Our Meal Plan for This WeekMy Profile

  2. I think you would be a fabulous travel writer – you have all the ingredients right there and it’s not the first time I’ve heard you mention it. Keep dreaming, I think you’ll get there one day. And yes, you so need a holiday. X

  3. I would definitely read your travel blogs – your writing is really engaging. I have to say that I started a travel blog a couple of years ago (I still have it) but I don’t have time to go anywhere!! So I only write it on it occasionally but it is there if I want it 🙂 Thanks for hosting #TheTruthAbout

  4. Who needs an arm chair? I haven’t got one. You do need a holiday though, or possibly just a rest. I have be enjoying staycations of late (taking Cygnet out of the country would involve a letter of consent from my delightful ex and that would involve a difficult conversation which I don’t have the stomach for). If you wrote travel blogs I would read them. It would mean that I could travel without actually leaving the country. Loads of love and I hope you are okay. Pen xx #thetruthabout.
    Pen recently posted…Female masturbationMy Profile

  5. Loved this post! Who needs an armchair, right?
    You can call yourself a traveller if you want to be a traveller! Someone once told me I wasn’t a food blogger… well if I want to call myself a food blogger, I’ll call myself a food blogger, thank you very much!!! Days out (even to your local park) count, don’t they? xx

  6. I think being a traveller is a kind of ‘heart’ or a ‘soul’ thing isn’t it? Like you just know if you are one because even if you’re not doing much travelling now, you know you will at some point because the pull is so strong? I’m not remotely travel-minded but I say, follow your dreams! You’d be a really good travel blogger because you can write and you’ve got passion and insight so you’d see and capture all sorts of things that others might not. xx
    Maddy@writingbubble recently posted…What I’m Writing – week seventy-threeMy Profile

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