Over the weekend I became aware of the news story that the Indonesian government is planning to use crocodiles instead of prison guards in future, the theory being that crocodiles can’t be bribed (unless you happen to find a handy stray dog or unsuspecting fellow inmate of course). I was put in mind of The Hunger Games (just replacing innocent youths with world weary cons for the sake of remaining within the confines of social acceptance). It’s also a wonderful austerity measure – I can’t really picture the crocodiles making too much of a fuss over their terms of employment – HR is unlikely to be called into any tribunals which is probably just as well.
So how long will it be until the UK government cottons on to this budget slashing measure and starts drafting in killer bees to protect the crown jewels or monkeys with yes/no buttons instead of judges and juries…Will the police service of 2045 be mostly dogs?
But if the Hunger Games revolves around contestants having to be constantly on their toes, on the lookout for dangers from both murderous fellow ‘players’ and hidden dangers planted maliciously by the game makers, then life may well be going that way. Just type ‘hidden dangers’ into Google and you can find everything there from the hidden dangers of coconut oil (I know! Coconut Oil!!) to the hidden dangers of common painkillers. And now it seems the hidden dangers of going out to a restaurant, sports fixture or concert if what happened in Paris over the weekend is anything to go by.
Every time we leave the house are we running the gamut of myriad unseen forces intent on destroying everything we believe in, if not causing actual bodily harm? And they say social anxiety is on the increase – no bloody wonder!
Not long ago the hubster and I watched a documentary about the increase in black market demand for incredibly dangerous snakes like rock pythons which often get dumped into the wild by their incredulous owners once they reach full size. Unsurprisingly snake attacks are on the rise in the suburbs of Southern Florida. I’ll admit this really doesn’t have too much of an impact on the leafy suburbs of the English home counties, but it is kind of indicative of the sensationalist, scare-mongering that we’re seeing more and more of in the media.
I’m not sure whether you feel the anxiety more as a parent – after all, part of our role is to protect the little people who can’t protect themselves. Do you find yourself lying awake at night obsessing over the hidden dangers of getting some air in the room (rabid fox attack), or the hidden dangers of the tuna sandwich they ate at lunchtime (too much mercury), etc. etc. ad infinitum?
Whilst I’m not advocating ignorance, I will give three pieces of advice to you if you have been feeling a bit nervy lately:
- Never commit a major crime in Indonesia
- Never Google ‘hidden dangers’
- Live your life!