SAHM vs. WM…

sahm

I’ve been thinking alot about this lately, probably because I have found that the blogs I am drawn to (barring that of the lovely Zoe Ashton who I discovered through the WordPress Reader) tend to be written by stay at home mums who manage to do the most amazing craft activities, enviable child-friendly projects, plus managing to organise a massive amount of super ambitious blogging projects and achieve fabulous goals all whilst fitting in the mundane tasks of cooking, cleaning, and bog-standard childcare in the unseen background.

So what I want to know is – this Stay at Home Mum lark – is it the key to having the freedom to do these things? Or is it just the personalities of those who do it well – people who would be pushing themselves to high achievement whatever the situation? Because I can’t see it happening for me primarily because my children demand almost constant attention. I might get an hour or two once or twice a week when JJ is at pre-school and EJ is napping, but that doesn’t seem like enough…

I work part-time and this is always the way I wanted it to be. It means I get glimpses into both worlds but there is never any real ‘down’ time. I enjoy being in the workplace for the most part and I do believe it brings some balance to my life – I rarely feel that experience of boredom – there is always somewhere I have to be and its not always the same place! I don’t feel like I am stuck in the rat race the way I once was – commuting to and from the same place five days a week. And yet I have nothing to show the outside world for anything work-related. I spent five hours at work today on one task and its not a creative thing that I do but it involves making a lot of decisions which impact on many people’s lives.

Still I can’t help but crave some creative outlet and writing this blog is helping me to achieve that. Now if I just had time to create something beautiful to photograph and display I’d be a happy woman!

Stay at Home Mummy bloggers – please let me know your thoughts on this – do you feel you have more time to do your own thing (as well as your Mummy thing) than you would have if you worked? Or are you just a high achiever and feel like the job’s not done unless you can think of it almost as a work-based project which is to be held up and measured on the scale of perfection (or maybe ‘brilliance in blogging’)?

Linking to PoCoLo at Vevivos.

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16 thoughts on “SAHM vs. WM…

  1. great post, it’s a topic I want to write on but can’t make it tactful enough to publish yet 🙂 I’m a working mum (30h a week) and I love it, I couldn’t be a SAHM full time but I really do envy them. I have so much I want to do with my boys just not the time to do it in.

  2. It’s an interesting topic and a difficult one to answer. I’m a SAHM and I suppose I feel that while I don’t have a huge amount of time to myself (I grab the odd bit of time here and there during naps etc.) I think my brain has a bit more time. I’m not sure if that makes sense, but while I have loads of fun with my monkey and am busy basically all the time I am with him, I think maybe it isn’t as mentally taxing as when I was at work. When I am doing housework, watching him play, going out walking and exploring with him, I find my mind wandering in a way I couldn’t let it at work, which maybe is when I get some creative ideas?

    But then I am also the kind of person that if I doing something, I want to do it well. I guess I’m a perfectionist (though I rarely achieve perfection, I try so hard!).

    It’s also worth noting that I only have one toddler at the moment and I have no idea what life will be like with 2! The thought terrifies me! And I have no idea how mummies work and do all of the other jobs that I have to do, I watch my friends do it and think they must be exhausted. But then they say the same to me.

    Sorry for the overly long comment, I guess my answer is I don;t know! Great post though, very thought provoking!

    • That’s interesting about having more time and space to think – I guess that really is important in order to live a creative life… I also remember what it was like when JJ turned two and it was still just him – I finally felt like I was getting back on top of life – then along came EJ and it was like two steps forwards, five steps back!

      I don’t regret the decision to have two though – family dynamics and all that!

      Thanks for taking the time to post such a thoughtful and thought provoking post!

  3. I think that can be a problem with part time work – workplaces are arranged so that the more stimulating roles tend to go to full timers leaving part timers with potentially less job satisfaction. Still to me part time work was better than none, and it built up my skills in areas I would never have thought to work in. I wish I had known about blogging then! I’m glad you’re enjoying the creativity, as I always enjoy reading your posts.

    • I don’t necessarily get less stimulating stuff to do at work but I do find that sometimes the full timers are given more responsibilites and maybe treated as more valued members of the team but maybe that’s just my perception. Yes blogging is a fantastic outlet!

      • It’s good you’re still getting stimulation at work and that part time is working out for you. It’s such a minefield getting a balance and it sounds as if you have worked it out as well as anybody could.

  4. Pingback: Blogtastic #WoTW | And then the fun began...

  5. If I’m honest I don’t really know the answer to this. Both my boys are at school full time and instead of being bored or spending the days cleaning the house I took up blogging. It fills my time, gives me a place to vent and you get to meet some lovely people. If I worked I probably wouldn’t blog, I don’t think I’d have the time however, I do marvel at some women’s ability to get seemingly mammoth tasks accomplished while also working.

    A great post that will get most of us thinking, I reckon. 🙂
    #PoCoLo
    Morgan x

  6. To be honest, I think everyone just finds what works for them and the people who blog tend to be making the very most of their situation. I doubt anyone would be sharing the fact that they’re sitting on their arse watching Jeremy Kyle all day while the kids are at school…

    For me working two days is my perfect work/life balance. I’m up at the crack of dawn, commute into the City, and work in a large company where a lot is expected of me. It’s an exhausting 48 hours, but I love my job, love the people I work with, get paid well and feel valued even though I’m a part timer. I know I’m very lucky to have what I do though, and if I lost my job tomorrow I probably wouldn’t look for work after mat leave and consider being a F/T SAHM indefinitely #PoCoLo

    • I don’t doubt that stay at home blogging mums (or any half decent SAHM really) would be highly unlikely to be sat around watching crap daytime TV. What I was trying to get at was the fact that SAHMs seems to be able to excel at blogging *despite* doing the full time job of childcare and housework and it made me wonder *how?*. I think what Caroline from Becoming a Stay at Home Mum said is very revealing and something I hadn’t considered before – not that she has more time to blog but that she has more time to *think* and plan and it makes sense that this in turn leads to a better organised, more ambitious blog in the long run. As a part time mum and blogger (I’m sure you get this!) we can do so much but there are only 24 hours in a day! Doesn’t stop me having long term plans though 😉

  7. I am forever harsh on myself. I work part time and I love writing my blog – it is my own little piece of sanity but I don’t really craft! I just write about things and stuff and the occasional recipe!! And I still never feel like I’ve done enough! Thanks for linking to PoCoLo x

    • You are clearly very good at promoting your blog though and I guess you have to fit in an awful lot of reading other peoples stuff too! I can’t seem to figure out how to do, write, work, look after the kids *and* promote as well as keeping up with what everyone else in the community is up to! There isn’t enough time in the day, surely!

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